Homeschooling Resources

I've been invited to try Time4Learning for one month in exchange for a candid review. My opinion will be entirely my own, so be sure to come back and read about my experience. Time4Learning can be used as a homeschool curriculum, for afterschool enrichment and for summer skill sharpening. Find out how to write your own curriculum review for Time4Learning.

Whack - A- Mole (aka a day in the life of a mother)

Do you remember this game? It was one of my favorite games growing up (little did I know that once I got married and had children it would be the theme of my life!). For those who don't know the game - one or two or three of the little moles will pop their head out of the holes and you have to use the padded hammer to hit them hard enough to make them go back inside. The object of the game is to hit each one that pops up before it goes down on its own. It sounds simple enough but as the game progresses more moles pop out and it goes faster and faster and you never know which hole a mole will pop out of so by the end of the game you are exhausted by the tension!

Doesn't that sound familiar? Mommy needs to whack a mole- someone had a potty accident on the floor- let me run deal with that before the next mole pops up. The phone rings, the baby cries, the dog needs to be let outside. Then the game continues. You work on speech therapy with your oldest, juggle strange a strange diet for your youngest, make sure your middle child gets enough playdates and then run to work out and do the shopping, the laundry and then your husband needs your attention too. You're asked to make cookies for playschool, brownies for church and then clean up because mom's coming over.

When you think you're done at the end of the day because your little darlings are all sleeping snug in their beds- then the mental game persists. There was a lot of whining today- we need to start doing more community service. My girls are struggling with neat writing- we need to do more schoolwork. Actually we really need to up the school work- this is our first year homeschooling and so far it feels like we're never home and never schooling! We haven't had the neighbors over for supper yet- it's only been 2 years- but we'll schedule that for this weekend too. Tomorrow I'll pay the bills and do the taxes and plant the garden and register for violin lessons for next year. And what about Bible study- how did that get neglected 4 days this week? That will be a priority for tomorrow.

By the next morning I've got 32 moles staring looking at me before the day even begins!

But I loved the game as a child because it has purpose. You knew what you were supposed to do- and sure a few moles slipped through the cracks- but you attacked each one you could with zeal. And that was a good feeling.

I pray that I can remember Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, where you go.

And be thankful that today I'm here and that i have things to do and the ability with which to do them- even if sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming.

** A special thank you to my dear friend Rachael for the analogy**

What game do you play each day?

Terrible Horrible Miserable Me

Today I'm having a bad day. A rotten, miserable, horrible day. This is day 5 of my family being sick. I'm overtired, not feeling well myself and I'm stressed. I'm stressed about my baby who is not just sick with bronchitis- which would be bad enough- but she also has a genetic disease (PKU) which makes everything oh so much more complicated.

I like having control over my environment- I live a very routine based life. I like having and following rules. I don't like surprises.

But I'm like a helpless babe when it comes to my dealing with my daughter. This is her third illness in the last 9 weeks. I feel humbled and it is an uncomfortable feeling.

I could explain the legitimate reasons to be stressed about her illness. I could ask for pity for the little sleep i've gotten and the stress i've had in the last week- family stress, battling a religious understanding that I don't really want to accept, my oldest turning 6, having to put our dog down.

I spent this morning telling myself how miserable this week has been. And then when the hospital called with the latest blood work results I dissolved into tears and filled with anger.

I feel so alone. I feel so responsible for everything. I feel so angry. I wonder what it feels like to really lose it, I wonder when you know you've hit the breaking point. Standing in the middle of my living room bawling- trying to gain perspective. It could be worse. I'm not in the middle of war. I'm not watching my children starve to death. I have a family. I am so blessed.

So what do you do when you feel like you cannot take it anymore- you pray. And you pray. And you pray. And when you still cannot get up you keep praying until you can. And you know that there is a lesson here.

And know that it might get worse-that it *will* get worse- but that life isn't about today or this week.

So i'll go sweep the floor, make lunch - snuggle my little and not little babies and pray that tomorrow is better. I will find comfort in the routines of my life until I find peace.

I won't continue my little pity party today (although i 'm still pretty crabby)- but won't promise not to have another one tomorrow. But I have faith. I will have faith. There is a plan and a reason and lesson here.


Parenting is hard.

Living is hard.

Loving is hard.

Life is hard.

But it is all so worth it.

tell me what's awesome in your life right now- what makes everything else worth it!

What you NEED to know about Toys for children under 10

When my first child was born I was a part of a mom and baby group. We went to each other's house once a week and let our babies play and agonized over how little we slept, how little they ate and what exactly we were supposed to be D-O-I-N-G with our babies all day long.

Such is the joy of being a first time mom. It is great to get baby snuggles- but by about 3 months old you look around and say- I've been slacking- I need to catch up. My baby hasn't learned anything in the last three months except how to latch. I'll get her some toys.

And so it begins.

Toys- Toys- Toys- Toys.

There is nothing as wonderful as seeing your child's eyes light up when they get a new toy- and nothing as wonderful as the feeling you get when watch them playing with the toy and loving it! It is almost addictive- such an easy way to get a smile and at least 20 mins of facebook time- a dollarstore trinket or a new toy to their set. Seems harmless enough.

And every different toy seems to come in sets- so you feel that it is somehow incomplete if you have the little people farm and no extra animals, and then you get a few more people with the animals and you realize you need a house for them, and school bus for the kids to go to school and a playground and the next thing you realize is that you have an awful lot of plastic. And year after year, child after child- birthdays and holidays = presents and you end up with more and more and more. And it all looks in new condition- so you cannot justify throwing it away. And you hesitate to break up the set you've spent the last 3 years collecting.....

What are you to do?

I know of some parents who keep the toys in large plastic totes, sometimes by set- one little pony tote, one littlest pets shop tote - or sometimes by color - all the red toys, all the blue toys, etc- and sometimes by skill types - gross motor skill toys grouped together, complex cognitive toys grouped together. And yet in time-and with enough children- the system falls apart and you are left with a heap of colorful pieces that no one uses for their once intended purpose.

I muse on this today as i have been cleaning toys for two hours this morning and am not finished yet. The puzzles were mixed up, the boxes overturned and now i'm left to pick up the pieces- literally. And i'm really struggling not to just toss them all away.

Alone they look meaningless and worthless. They are in a heap in my stairwell as I sort between what belongs in the toyroom downstairs and what belongs in the girl's bedrooms. It is now i am tempted to toss them. But I know that once they are in their place my resolve will have weakened. Afterall when the My Little Pony sits amidst all of her matching pony's I can fantasize about how all three children will come downstairs on a rainy afternoon and spend hours creating pony land and playing and growing and laughing. When the My Little Pony sits with the others there is safely in numbers. I know there is no reason for my 3 girls to have 26 ponies. In fact I feel ashamed of this fact. Yet, when they are all together I just cannot bear to start getting rid of some of them- how could I chose?

I've bought into the idea that our children need these toys. Each different kind of toy- figurines, blocks, balls, puzzles, animals, doctor sets, dress up clothing, sorting toys, pattern toys, fine motor skill toys, gross motor skill toys, and of course musical toys.

I'm wrong.

They don't need these toys- and in fact these toys are preventing me from being a good parent. I'm almost in tears admitting this- but for the last two hours and for at least a couple of hours EVERY SINGLE WEEK- when I could have been enjoying time with my children I've been cleaning their toys up, rotating toys, reorganizing toys.

My mother says clutter is whatever keeps you from living the life you want to live.

I want to spend more time one on one with my girls- i want to talk to them, create stories and let my pointer finger be Mr. Spider and go on an adventure around the house. Right now I couldn't crawl around the house b/c I would injure myself on the lego and itty bitty polly pocket pets which seem to find their way under my feet and knees.

What you ( and I ) need to know about toys is that they are supposed to be the accessories. We as parents are the outfit and they are just the accessories. Somehow along the way we've forgotten that. We've spent more money than we can afford on things that promise smarter kids and happier homes- but in the end we've created more clutter, more cleaning and more stress.

Why should our children have fewer toys?

1. When children have too many toys they are unable to form as strong attachments to their toys.

2. When our children have too many toys they are often unable to keep them tidy and they often end up not valuing each toy as much. While this may not seem like a problem to the mother who has forgotten to pack the treasured dinky car or polly pocket on a vacation- it does present itself as a problem when our children do not value or take care of what they have. What kind of adults will they become?

3. Ever wonder why today's children seem to lack long attention spans? A quick look around most bedrooms and playrooms might give a good answer. When children have too much "stuff" they are easily distracted and cannot focus on one activity with one toy.

4. Children with fewer toys are happier (?) It is a balance issue- a child who only has one barbie is not by her lack of toys going to be happier than the one who has a roomful. But let's not for a moment believe that toys make children happy- they don't.

5. Last but certainly not least- your children need fewer things if the things are taking away from their experiences as children, distracting them from being imaginative, creative and social! And if those things are negatively impacting the relationship you have with them- because you are too busy cleaning up the toys to play with them or because the toys act as a replacement parent.

So this week I have decided that my children do not need collections of Little People, Polly Pockets, Barbies, My Little Ponies and Littlest Pet Shops. They do not need multiple doll houses for each different kind of doll. They do not need multiple flashing lights activity toys. They do not need 5 different kinds of blocks. I will finish sorting the toys and then I will do my kids a favor and take away the "clutter" that is preventing me from being the best mom I can be.

Stay updated to see what i've purged this week!

TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KIDS TOYS- HOW DO YOU DEAL?

Splish Splash- Let's Talk About The Bath!

When we were in our first prental class the teacher suggested that the dad have one child task that the mother never did- that way he could become the expert. We chose bathing. Now 5 years later my husband still does most of the bath nights- I help by getting towels and jammies. However last night daddy was working late- the baby C had mushed food in her hair- there was no avoiding it. I was going to have to bath the three girls. It starts off so well when they realize it is bath night........

The girls squeal in delight and run upstairs super excited- i clean the bathtub and fill it up with water- they clamber in. Then S. is "a mermaid" and baby C won't sit down and starts screaming when i try to get her to sit. Then S screams when i suggest we wash her hair. As if they didn't know that was what we were doing in the tub in the first place. Baby C screams b/c her sister is screaming. Tears start flowing, snot is flying. I have to haul Baby C out of the tub dripping wet and into her crib b/c she's hysterical and i cannot get S's hair done otherwise. S *almost* lays down and gets about 1% of her hair wet. I put my hand under her head and gently lower it- whispering soft soothing words. She screams at the top of her lungs. She starts lashing out like a cat. I put on the shampoo and let her lather it up. Then we have to rinse. She decides she needs to lay down on a pillow- our only bath pillow is too high and her hair won't get wet. We try to negotiate. Finally I just rinse her hair. She flails everywhere and gets water in her face. She screams and I think she's going to bite me so I cover her mouth. I finish rinsing her hair - i'm not going to stop now then have to deal with it all over again. Then I dry her face. She smiles- " i'm' so good mom I didn't even cry"....no kiddo you didn't cry.....you just screamed bloody murder. Then I get Baby C from her crib- she looks like a drowned rat and we've not even started. I bring her to the tub and she clings to me like a monkey and I have to pry her off and try to bring her to the tub. She looks very suspicious. I tell her it will be ok- i just need to get her hair washed then they can play - and i slowly lower her head to the water and she opens her mouth and screams and then flips over- face first into the water. If she wasn't mad before now she's spitting mad and a bit scared too. I try to move fast- by the end she's furious with me. I'm so glad N can manage it on her own now. This is the first year she is not screaming too. When i'm done i'm just d-o-n-e.

I've tried to use water to pour on their heads, i've tried to use water from the tap, i've tried the shower. The girls just scream and claw and climb up onto my head (in the case of the shower). Any suggestions- how do you bathe your children?

If my kids stink- pity me don't judge me.

Perspectives on Parenting

Today I brought my 5 year old daughter to the hospital to see one of her friends.It was a hard visit. A short visit where most of it was spent in tears. We went to visit a little 4 year old epileptic girl who had a terrible 2 1/2 hour long seizure just over a week ago. She seizured for so long that they needed to induce her into a coma, then when they tried to bring her back out she kept having more seizures. She has now woken up but has suffered severe brain damage and we don't know what her future holds.

That's how fast it happens isn't it. One moment you are worrying about whether or not your child is chewing with their mouth open, whether or not you should put them in full or half day kindergarten, or agonize for months over whether or not to homeschool. One moment you panic because your child is not crawling or talking or walking as fast as the neighbors. And the next moment you enter the hospital and see an entire community of parents who know what real issues are.

In a moment your perspective changes and you hug your kids a little tighter and let them stay up a little longer and realize what a blessing it is to be able to say " I SAID you had to eat your cauliflower " and to say " stop fighting with your sister" . Because in every city in this country there is a hospital with parents who would give anything to be able to say that to their children.

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself - I think foolish things like why does my child have to have a metabolic disease, why do i have a child who struggles with stuttering and why don't I have family close by when I need a babysitter on short notice. And then I get a dose of perspective.

I debated whether or not I should bring my daughter. I wanted to support the mom who i'm also friends with, but finally I decided I would. It would give her a bit of perspective too. And maybe understand why I wouldn't feel sorry for her when she learned we don't have dessert for supper tonight. We talked a lot about what she would see before we were there- but it was still harder on both of us than I imagined it would be. Over the next few days as she processes it and we continue to talk we'll learn if it was a good idea or not.

Isn't that how all parenting goes- you do the best you can and then you realize too late if it was a good idea afterall.

I'm hurting for this family and wish I could do something- raise money or give them something that would make their life a little bit easier- but what? Any suggestions? How do you give them hope? what do you say? I simply don't know.

Hardest Nursing Moment

I had the rare opportunity to talk about my nursing experience last week. Really divulge into the ins and outs of how my experiences were different with each child. And so now that all of these memories have been stirred up I've been reflecting on them. Thinking about what was the hardest nursing moment, the most rewarding, the proudest and the one i'll never forget.

I can clearly remember one night - less than one week as a new first time mamma sitting cross-legged on the bed (yep it hurt but i figured i looked more like the diagrams in the nursing info sheet i had sitting on the bed in front of me. It was about 2 am. My firstborn liked to wake up at 2:09am like clockwork so i'm guessing it was about then. My awesome husband had gotten up and taken her from the bassinet by our bed, changed her and then handed her to me to nurse. And i brought her to my breast. My mantra was "hold it like a hamburger not like a cigarette" and I had an info sheet with 4-5 different positions i kept by the bed. She cried, rooted, latched on, pulled her head back, latched off and on again. And again. then she seemed to find the latch that suited her. But it didn't look right so i pulled her off again and tried. She was practically gagging . I started to cry. She cried. She wailed. She just wanted to eat. I couldn't line up my areola. I was a failure. It took about 20 mins and she finally did latch on again and start nursing. I didn't think the latch was quite right but at this point i didn't care. It was the hardest nursing moment i'd had to date and it felt like it represented my entire career of motherhood- i had the info but still couldn't seem to put it into practice.

My most rewarding nursing moment is not so easy to pinpoint. It wasn't just one moment but a collection of them- there is nothing like a milk drunk baby and my babies would drink and drink and drink until they would roll their eyes back and drift to that far away place. And i would think-" that must be true bliss. "

My proudest nursing moment came with my second born. The scenario was eerily similar to the one described as my hardest nursing moment. She was only a couple of days old. My milk had just come in and she was struggling. She would latch and unlatch. It was coming in too strong and she couldn't seem to figure it out. Middle of the night feed (although i have to say my awesome husband didn't still get up and change her and bring her into bed anymore- he was now on firstborn duty and slept through most feedings) - 2 am. I brought her into bed to nurse and she latched on, pulled off and cried out. She did this again and again. I tried the other side but she seemed to have the same problem. She arched her back. She rooted. She wanted to eat and was getting more frustrated by the moment. It wasn't working. I didn't realize that my husband was awake until he asked me why i wasn't upset. Why wasn't i stressed about this. She obviously couldn't eat and we even have any formula in the house (after the firstborn I refused to keep the "FREE" can of formula in the house as i found it too tempting). He was getting stressed. And I laughed- I said she'll figure it out. My job is to hold her and she and my breasts need to come to an agreement. I wasn't stressed. I wasn't the least bit phased. I was now a 2nd time mamma!

And the moment i'll never forget- wasn't a nursing moment at all. My youngest was 7 days old in the hospital, she'd been diagnosed earlier that day with a genetic metabolic disease of PKU and had to go on 6 bottles of specialized formula per day. The dietitian came to our room (we were hospitalized to stabilize her since we didn't know from birth but only from the newborn heel prick test) and taught me how to make these special bottles. And she sat there while i fed my baby a bottle. I even tear up writing this. Silent tears streamed down my face. And the dietitian thought I was upset because of my daughter's diagnosis and the issues that would come along the way- and while I would spend the rest of my life concerned for her health- i was crying because I was feeding my baby a bottle and it represented the loss of the breastfeeding relationship i so very badly desired.

I'm happy to report that I was wrong. I had the opportunity to nurse her a little bit each day (and we're actually still nursing a little bit each day!) and while it was a different nursing relationship it was still a wonderful one. And I realized that I *could* bond with my baby while feeding a bottle once I let go of the guilt and the disappointment.

But what i want to know is what about you? What was your hardest nursing moment? your most memorable? most rewarding?